It's Easy For Girls......Right?

    I often hear guys complain that girls have it easy on the social scene.  And sure, I never turn down it down if someone offers to buy me a drink or cigar or whatever.  Free stuff is good! But easy?  I don't know about that...especially on the far side of thirty years old.

     Don't get me wrong here, I'm not complaining about being a girl. ;) But we do have to work for it.  It's just that all our work is behind the scenes, as it were. We apply 15 different products to our bodies EVERY DAY. There’s shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner, and leave in conditioner. Then depending on what sorts of things we’re doing to our hair, there’s heat protectant spray, hair spray, mousse, and/or texturizers--and that’s just to get a causal look. (Myself, I get Brazilian blowouts*  twice a year, so I get to skip most of those steps now!) There’s exfoliating scrubs, body washes and body lotions, and that’s not to mention all the things we have to shave and wax and pluck and otherwise de-hair. We'll put on two different facial moisturizers, two different primers, a concealer, a foundation, powder, and then the most minimal makeup possible just to make it look like we didn’t do anything to our face that day.

    Then there’s the closet. We buy contraptions to haul our boobies up to gravity-defying, socially acceptable heights. Our clothes need to be carefully chosen for just the right amount of, “look at me, I look nice!” without saying, “Hey lookie, I dress like a slut!” After all, we’re not college girls anymore, we have to show some decorum. But at the same time we crave a *little* bit of attention.  Anyone who says differently is probably lying. And the shoe selection is difficult too.  It’s gotta be cute and maybe a little questionable, but if you walk like a newborn giraffe it sort of doesn’t work.  Like, at all.

    And guys will say, you don’t have to do that. Women are beautiful anyway! Trust me, you only think that.  I understand that you believe it with all your heart…but that’s because you don’t see the girl when she gets up in the morning! Really, just be appreciative of what we go through! (Though saying, “Wow, you must’ve gone through a LOT to look like that!” is NOT gonna get you very far.  For realz.)

*If you don’t know what a Brazilian blowout is, look it up because it’s probably NOT what you’re thinking. Brazilians do have OTHER beauty methods. ;)